Mint Shield

Strangely enough, this is not the name of a magic item in WoW. It’s the flavor of my mouthwash. I recently ran out of mouthwash and bought a new Economy size bottle. I had just used the ‘green’ one, so I figured I’d branch out and try the ‘purple.’

NOTE: I buy the Economy size because it lasts me about a year. The downside is that a year is a long time if you discover you hate the flavor you chose. Curse you, blue swill!

Unfortunately, it was not grape-flavored. The makers apparently did not learn that ‘purple’ equals ‘grape flavor’ as children. Red is cherry, orange is orange, blue is something (I can’t remember), green is apple, and brown is dirt. I never did figure out what the black one was supposed to taste like.

Anyhow, I cracked open my new bottle of mouthwash last Sunday and gave it a try. It was yet another variation on mint. Why ‘mint’ equals ‘clean’ I’ll never know. I looked at the actual flavor and was surprised to learn that it was called Mint Shield.

And then, in yet another flash of inspiration, I had it. Gamer-oriented flavors. If Mountain Dew can market Game Fuel, why can’t mouthwash get a similar treatment? Or toothpaste? Or Girl Scout cookies? Or Motor Oil? Or grocery bags? Or those small rubber rings that you stick inside pipes so that the water doesn’t leak?

It’s easy! If it’s Mint Shield, call it +3 Shield of Mint! Would you rather brush with Regular Paste or Paste of the Titans? A ball cap becomes a Hat of Solar Protection. This can apply to any product! Boxers (as in underwear) become Shorts of Ventilation or Godly Shorts of the Whale.

As usual, if you’re a marketing executive, give me a call. I have a million of them.

Cheers,
-Jason