EULA: Part 2

1. Eligibility
All rights and the title in and to the Program and the Server (including names, likenesses, catch phrases, music, thimbles, and small collectable figurines) are ours. You may not have them or use them in any way that we find upsetting. Of course, nobody actually reads this so we can really put in anything we want. BOOGERS. See?

2. Ownership
You many establish one (1, uno, un, ichi, ein, etc) User Account per install. Not that we would know if you did, but still we have to say this. Its not like were going to come to your house and beat you up if we find out. No, we tried that. It got really expensive. Instead Ill just call you up and say some vaguely threatening things. Maybe we can be friends? God, Im so lonely.

3. Miscellaneous
Ummm, if youve thought of doing something we havent explicitly told you not to, this is a blanket statement to cover that and anything else you might think of. I wanted to be a folk singer. There, I said it. I didnt want to be a lawyer. I wanted to make people happy with whimsical songs about dogs named Beauregard. But no, Mother said I had to be a lawyer. She said folk singers never made any money. She wouldnt listen when I tried to explain about Arlo Guthrie.

4. Pickles
You didnt read any of this, did you? The least you could do is read it. I mean, I worked very hard on this, you could at least give it a cursory glance before you start killing stuff with a +12 Sword of Permanently Single or whatever it is this program does. Its probably zombies. Everythings zombies these days. Why cant they make nice games? Like Chutes and Ladders or Candy Land? But no, you just want to blow stuff up. Well, fine. Click Accept. Dont worry about me. Ill just be here. All alone. Writing legal stuff. Maybe another EULA. Joy.

Cheers,
-Jason

EULA: Part 1

No, this is not the name of my matronly great aunt. EULA stands for End-User-License-Agreement. It is the thing that pops up when you install software that you have to click AGREE on to complete the install.

In a nutshell, the EULA basically says you will not do anything bad with the software and that you accept that if you do anything stupid with it, it is your fault.

At least, that is what I hope they say. I have yet to meet someone who has actually read a EULA. Frankly, it would no surprise me to learn that companies have been messing with us all these years and putting pretty much anything they can think of in there, safe in the knowledge that we will happily click on the button so we can shoot zombies in the head.

What might be in a EULA, you may ask? Well, tune in tomorrow to find out.