Wednesday, December 1, 2010


I had yet another amazing idea for a show. Hold on, this will take a bit of back story.

Last week I went to visit my mother for Thanksgiving. It was a pretty average visit, all things considered. I showed up at her door and she took a shot at me. I went to the bathroom, she took a shot at me. I reached for the remote, she took a shot. You get the idea.

And yes, mother is a terrible shot.

Anyway, on Tuesday evening she insisted on watching the finale of Dancing with the Stars. I decided to go ahead and watch it with her, owing to the fact that she was armed. In short, it was a two-hour finale with about ten minutes of actual dancing.

Now don’t get me wrong, the dancing was fun to watch. I found the majority of the show rather dull, but it did live up to the name: there were stars and they danced. A bit.

The big problem I had with the show was the fact that there were about a dozen gorgeous female dancers on hand, all of whom seemed to be at least three-quarters leg, and the show didn’t spend nearly enough time on them. I wanted to watch the pretty girls dance. A lot.

So here’s my idea: make a new show called Thirty Minutes of Hot, Long-Legged Dancers Just Y’know, Dancing. Or TMHLLDJYD for short. It would be much cheaper to produce, seeing as you wouldn’t need the judges, audience, stars, or honestly, much in the way of wardrobe.

Oh, and if you liked to watch the guys, we could have a companion show called . . . uh . . . Dancing . . . Guys. It could use the exact same set and come on right after. Everyone would get to watch the group they preferred and some would want to watch both, so bonus for them.

And ideally, the guys would distract my mother long enough for me to get away. She’s gonna get lucky one of these days and I’m a big fan of not bleeding.



Buzzcook said...

I tend to think "Pretty girls jiggling their jiggly parts while dancing on a tropical island and wrestling for food"

Would cover most of the reality show needs of a large part of the population.

Jason Janicki said...

I second that idea! :)

Ed said...

I'm not sure I'm on-board with the concept of having the pretty girls wrestling for food. I want the pretty girls to be able to get enough to eat so they can stay pretty.

Simpler idea: show's called "beautiful people dancing". Or, maybe "gyrating". That way, the old religious women won't have to have even a microsecond of doubt what the show's about.

IMHO, the show should contain a disproportionately high number of homosexual dance partners. At least, most of the guys I know apparently think lesbians are hot, and my wife tells me many women feel similarly about gay couples.

Of course, since most people can't actually identify homosexuals by sight or sound, unless they're *really* flaming, there would be no actual need to seek out actual homosexuals for the show. Naturally occurring percentages would be fine.