Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Never Trust a Woman in a Mask: Part 5

“Come on back,” she said, padding down the hall in her bare feet. I followed and noticed a tangle of twisted, brightly-colored rubber in the corner of the hall, as if someone had made a balloon animal and then savagely murdered it. I didn’t give it much thought.

We went into one of three doors and I saw a sparse office that just contained a desk with a chair behind it, a trophy that showed a woman running from a zombie, and an empty birdcage.

She sat down in the only chair, placing the gun on the table in front of her.
I stood there for a moment, debating whether or not to just sit on the floor, and then decided to lean against the wall.

She smiled.

“What’s so funny?”

“Last guy that leaned against my wall didn’t do so well.”

“Why’s that?”

“Clown got him.”

I raised an eyebrow. “The outline downstairs?”


I shifted. “Why’s a guy talking to you getting whacked by a clown in someone else’s office?”

“Ask the Harlequin.”

“No thanks, I like breathing. So, you never did say how you knew about my gall bladder.”

“I have a bug downstairs.”

“I see. The beauty mark?”

“One of several.” She picked up the Desert Eagle and idly scratched her temple with it. “Oh, don’t worry,” she said, when she saw my expression. She pointed it up and pulled the trigger. A small flag popped out. It said ‘KA-BLAM!!!!’

“I thought they said ‘BANG?’

“Most do. This is a Desert Eagle. I couldn’t fit ‘OH MY GOD, THIS THING IS SO LOUD IT CAN BE HEARD IN SPACE!’”

“Good point.”

She dropped the gun into a drawer and leaned forward, her chin on her hands. “I can take out your gall bladder,” she said.

“Good. How much?” I pulled my wallet out. “I’ve got about 100 bucks, a set of floor mats, and a sweet chair.”

She shook her head. “I have something else in mind.”

“Like what?”

She rose, gesturing towards the bird cage. “Someone grabbed my bird. Left a note.”

“Really?” I looked at the cage. It was a nice model, with a swing, a mirror, a little tiny moat, and a sniper’s nest.

And then she hit me with the trophy.

Tomorrow: Part 6 – THE CONCLUSION

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