Combat Chef

Whilst enjoying a slice of birthday cake at work, the discussion turned towards celebrity chefs and the various things they do and eat. It then occurred to me that TV chefs were a lot like nature show hosts, in that they go places, show you things, and then eat them. Well, obviously nature show hosts don’t eat the animals they show you, as that would be far too interesting. It was then that I had yet another fantastic idea for a TV show: Combat Chef.

What are the four most popular types of show on television? Nature shows, food shows, survival shows, and military shows. What if you could combine all four?

NOTE: I have no idea if those are actually the most popular shows. They probably aren’t. However, for the purposes of this blog, let’s pretend.

Combat Chef would go a little something like this:

The host takes us to an exotic location smack dab in the middle of nowhere - Nature show.

The host explains the environment and the local flora and fauna, specifically, which bits are the tastiest – Survival show.

Having done so, the host then hunts down a critter with a spear or similar instrument and fights it to the death. In all fairness, if the critter wins, it gets to eat the host - Military show.

The host then shows you how to prepare the now deceased critter and then eats it (or vice-versa if the critter wins) – Food show.

Combat Chef has something for everyone. There’d be gorgeous vistas, cuddly creatures, horrific violence, and then, a quick lesson on how to prepare a delicious Hollandaise sauce while in the middle of the Sahara desert.

It would combine the thrill of Deadliest Catch, with the kitchen expertise of Rachel Ray, the wilderness skills of Survivorman, and the psychotic killing of any Rambo movie. I cannot see how any network could pass this up.

Granted, they’ve passed on all my other shows, including Clownivore, where clowns are fed to a variety of dangerous animals, but Combat Chef is different: it’s educational.

Cheers,
-Jason