Mom!!!

In a move that rocked the world of online gaming today, Blizzard announced that they would soon be displaying a user’s real first and last name in their forums. They hope this will cut down on the flame wars and insults that their forums have become known for.

For those of you who don’t quite get what that means, here’s a sample of what might go on:

BGB008s
Druids totally suck! They’re totally overpowered and only noobs play them!

URM0M
Hah! U suck, BGB008s.

ARtHass
Lol! Ur jast mAdd cus druids own u!

URMOM
Yah! LOL@ARtHass!

BGBOO8s
Sut up! You bth suck! F#()^*! U!

URMOM
U gona cry? ? I bet ur cryin r8t now!

ARtHass
Cryb8be!

However, if the users have to use their real names, things would change radically.

Billy Smith
Druids totally suck! They’re totally overpowered and only noobs play them!

Martha Smith
Hah! U suck, Billy Smith!

Dr. Phillip W. Jones
Lol! Ur jast mAdd cus druids own u!

Martha Smith
Yah! LOL@Dr. Phillip W. Jones!

Billy Smith
Wait, Martha Smith? Do you live on Green Street in Pittsburg?

Martha Smith
Actually, I do.

Billy Smith
Mom?

Martha Smith
Billy, is that you?

Billy Smith
Mom! What the hell?

Martha Smith
You watch your language! And no, druids don’t suck!

Billy Smith
But, you’re my mom! You’re supposed to support me!

Martha Smith
Not when you’re being a suckhole, dear.

Dr. Phillip W. Jones
Lollz!

As you can see, interactions on the Blizzard forums would be greatly changed. The user base, as you can well imagine, is not happy about this. Last I checked, there was a new post every 3 minutes on how much this would suck. Posters cite that marketing people could glean data on them, spammers and hackers could target Blizzard customers specifically, and those with odd or unusual names would be mocked relentlessly.

Honestly, I’m of two minds about it. Anonymity on the Internet can be a hassle, as some people use the lack of accountability to be jerks. A real name might very well curb a lot of that behavior.

On the one hand, I wouldn’t want my real name on a public forum like that. I mean, if people knew who I was, I could be the target of all sorts of insidious plots . . .

Oh, wait.

My name’s already all over the webcomic and our forum. You know, that might very well explain the increase in ninja attacks. Hmmm, and here I thought I was being targeted because of my rugged good looks and frighteningly advanced intellect.

I guess that’s only part of it, then.

Cheers,
-Jason