Monday, June 13, 2011

Hopefully Not Brains

It’s the middle of Sunday night and I’m craving . . . something. I dunno, it’s just one of those weird things you get from time to time, when you want a particular food, but can’t quite figure out what it is.

I’ve tried everything in my kitchen (mustard, cheese, 3 Musketeers bar, gum, diet root beer, and the bit of the apple that wasn’t moldy) and I still have this craving. I could go to the store and buy more food, but I know I’d just end up with a gallon of chocolate ice-cream and then I’d eat it and still probably not be satisfied.

NOTE: I originally typed a ‘galloon’ of ice-cream, which sounds like it really ought to be a measurement. Like ten gallons makes a galloon. Wait, gallons are on the Imperial system, so it couldn’t be something simple like ten. It would need to be pointlessly complicated like eleven and a half gallons and an egg makes a galloon.

This is just really irritating. I desperately want to eat something specific, but my body can’t figure out how to tell me what it is. I also have this weird sore on my calf. It’s kinda itchy. I have no idea where I got it, though I was at a park today, so it’s possible some critter ran up, bit me on the lower leg, and then scampered away without me noticing.

Okay, so no, that’s not very likely, even for me. It also looks like the sore is getting bigger. It doesn’t hurt. In fact, I wouldn’t have noticed it save for the fact that a chunk of my leg actually fell off. I duct taped it back on, but it didn’t really seem to help.

So, here I am, desperately hungry for something, bits of me falling off, and I’m just kinda shambling around the apartment, occasionally bumping into things.
Oh crap. I think I’m turning into a zombie.

It makes sense. I want to eat something, possibly brains, bits of me are falling off, and I’m slow and rather clumsy. Well, in all honesty, I’m slow and clumsy anyway.

First off, please allow me to apologize for my coming rampage of destruction. I realize that I may be responsible for the destruction of the human race and civilization as we know it, so sorry for that as well.

Though, just to be on the safe side, please don’t shoot me in the head until you’re certain I’ve turned into a zombie and I just don’t have a weird craving for broccoli or something. To do this, ask me (from a safe distance) why I hate reality shows. If I start frothing and making semi-coherent sentences, I’m fine (seriously). If I don’t respond or reply that I love reality shows and that you should come closer, feel free to open fire.

Though, please don’t do this before 11:00 am. I’m really not coherent until then.

Brai . . . errr . . . Cheers,


Anonymous said...

you should get the itchy patch tested if it remains, a little steroid cream clears a lot of those up right quick.

Ehm said...

chips and salsa. I went through that for a few weeks a bit ago and I could not figure out what I wanted until mom and I went to Chili's and someone next to us was getting some chips and salsa and it looked soooooo good.

Jason Janicki said...

Thanks, Anon, I'll remember that :)

I still don't know what it was, Ehm, but I don't have it anymore, so I dunno. On the other hand, I'm now positive it wasn't brains. Don't ask how I know . . . :)

Captain Hesperus said...

/reaches for the baseball bat....

Jason Janicki said...


Anonymous said...

Peanut butter. Or raisins. That's what always does it for me when I have that unexpected and inexplicable craving. Although, I rarely have bits of me falling off, so your mileage may vary...

Jason Janicki said...

I don't eat a lot of red meat, but every so often I just desperately need a steak or a good burger. And occasionally ice-cream. And chocolate. And teriyaki. :)

Slamlander said...

This vacation will end sometime, eh?

Sgt said...

Hope you are alright and Zombies did eat your brains =P
But could at least give us a heads up one why no more up dates?

Jason Janicki said...

I apologize for the lack of updates, but Leigh is in crunch mode at work and has been doing 12-14 hour days for the past couple months.

Hopefully, this will end soon and we will get back to regular updates. We will post our update date once we have one.

We appreciate your patience and that you keep coming back :)