Wednesday, May 4, 2011


I went bowling last weekend. This is the first time I’ve bowled in about six years, so I was pretty sure I was going to suck at it.

I was right.

I had a strategy going in: I was going to throw the ball really, really hard down the center of the lane and just take out the pins with sheer force.

And yes, I can hear the bowlers rolling their eyes (pun intentional).

Oddly enough, my strategy of throwing the ball really, really hard didn’t pay off. Oh, the pins went flying when I hit them, but that was maybe a fifty/fifty chance. I was kind of hoping that if I hit a couple pins hard enough, they’d ricochet around more and hit more pins and thus, increase my score.

Ideally, I’d hit the pins so hard, they’d not only knock over my pins, but the concussion would knock pins in the adjacent lanes down as well. This would rock, though I have no idea how you’d score that.

NOTE: The best thing would be to throw the ball so hard the sonic boom would just knock over every pin in the building. Granted, this might actually be dangerous, but it would be cool.

Actually, I have no idea how you score in bowling anyway. There’s some sort of multiplier thing going on with strikes and spares that seems excessively complicated. If you’ve got ten frames and ten pins, the top score should be 100 and you just count up the pins you knock over. That would eliminate all that pesky math and make life easier.

And yes, I’m sure I could wiki ‘bowling’ and figure out how the scoring works. I’m just lazy (and bad at math).

Anyway, we managed to get one game in and I came in third. Leigh won handily with a couple back to back strikes, which surprised everyone, Leigh included.

Next time, I’ll go with my secondary strategy: throw the balls softer, but then use the Force to just knock the pins over regardless of where the ball went. And then Force Choke anyone that protested.

I’ll need to work on the whole ‘Force’ thing though.



Gillsing said...

May the Fifth be with you then. I never really learned how to bowl properly, so I have to be content with a single strike per game. Maybe I should use lighter balls though? So that I can actually throw them the way they're supposed to be thrown? Hmm.

Jason Janicki said...

My whole problem with the balls is that I can never find one that my fingers fit in. Hole size seems to correlate to ball size, so I have to find the biggest one I can.

And if someone read that out of context, it would sound really weird :)