Well, it’s 2013 and the holidays are officially over. I went
to visit my mom and family out in California and there was the usual assortment
of stabbing, shooting, slugging, sandpapering, and other ‘s’ words that make up
one of our family reunions.
Oh, we hardly ever do any permanent damage, though my
brother’s jaw still makes a clicking noise after I kicked him in the face when
I was 12. And, quite honestly, I don’t hear as well out of my left ear after
the infamous ‘things that rhyme with frying pan’ incident.
NOTE: Nothing rhymes with frying pan. It was a trap.
Something extraordinary did occur. No, there was no ‘Christmas
Truce,’ though we did mutually agree to a ‘nothing powered with gas’ exception
for Christmas eve. Hint: don’t agree to this when a sibling has an electric
chainsaw and you don’t.
No, the extraordinary event was that my mother had her 80th
birthday. We surprised her with dinner out via limo on her birthday with all
her children and most of her grandchildren. Then, on Saturday, we had the ‘official’
party with 70 friends and family from all over the country. We saw people we
hadn’t seen in 20 years and for three hours, ate, drank and caught up.
And, in a sentence you might never read from me again, it
was all quite lovely.
So, happy birthday, Mom. Now we start planning for the 90th.
Now, I just need to get the stitches removed and I’ll be
ready for the next holiday.
Cheers,
-Jason
4 comments:
Crying Stan
Prying Man
Drying Can
Lying Ban
etc.
Pro tip: let the wound heal before you get the stitches removed. It tends to work better that way.
Well, in my defense, it's a lot harder to come up with rhymes for 'frying pan' when one is being pointed at your head ;)
Ooooh, so that's what I've been doing wrong :)
But, frying pans are round. So, they don't really point at anything. Or... they point at EVERYTHING! And you can never rhyme because all the frying pans of the world are pointed at you RIGHT NOW!
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