Krunk Funny!: Part 2

Wait, where was I? Oh yes . . .

So what kind of comedy would orcs prefer? I’m going to guess that keen observational comedy or political satires really aren’t their thing. I would suspect that their tastes run to simpler fair. Think broad physical humor such as Abbot and Costello. Only as orcs. With swords. And one of them dies at end.

Simple word plays would also probably prove very popular.

“Knock knock.

Who’s there?

The orc.

The orc who?

The orc who’s going to kill you, desecrate your remains, and then burn down your home!”

Though not really comedy, I would imagine that sleight-of-hand would also go over very well.

“And now, sawing a Man in half!” Proceeds to saw a Man in half to riotous cheering.

Despite its simple structures and penchant for bloodletting and outright savagery, I would hesitate to call orc comedy lowbrow. I would imagine there would be a delicate undercurrent to their work, an almost melancholy air as the orc comedians struggle to define and illuminate the rich culture and history of their people. Their examinations of cherished orc traditions, their (perhaps unsubtle) views of the world hold up a mirror to the orc peoples and ask ‘Is this all we are? Can we not find a place where we can all live in peace?’

Actually, no. I’m totally messing with you. Orc comedy basically revolves around orcs killing others and each other horribly. And yes, I majored in English (hence the truly amazing b.s. of the preceding paragraph).

If I had to guess, I would say the Mouth of Sauron got his start as a comedian:


Cheers,
-Jason

Krunk Funny!: Part 1

I was thinking about orcs the other day. I don’t know why I do this. Most people think about sane things like mortgages, their jobs, getting braces for Junior, and lawn care. Me, orcs. And stormtroopers. And Cthulhu waking up after untold millennia of sleep, checking his watch and going ‘Crap! I overslept by three thousand years!’ and rushing off to get his tentacles waxed.

But, as is typical, I digress.

So, orcs. I was wondering, in those moments in betwixt fighting, eating, making more orcs, and the civic light opera, what do orcs do for fun? My first thought was ‘macaroni ducks,’ but they’d probably just eat the macaroni and the paste (and frankly, the paper plates). Also, lacking fridges, they would have no real place to display them. Not to mention the fact that they probably don’t know what a duck looks like. If they ever got that far into the process, they’d probably just end up making ‘macaroni orcs’ and then get into a fight over whose was better.

NOTE: Macaroni Saurons could be a nice alternative.

Then it hit me: stand-up comedy. Other than a good sense of humor and the ability to shout, you don’t really need any equipment. Unless, of course, you were a prop comic, in which case you’d just need a variety of severed heads, of which there would probably be dozens just lying around.

Tomorrow: Part 2