Where the Bad Guys Go to Go: Part 2

Duke Nukem, I think, was the first game wherein I saw a bathroom in-game. Strippers too, actually.

NOTE: Strippers in a video game that is. I had seen them before. Well, once. From a distance. I was outside and they were inside. So, no (and yes), actually.

The other thing you almost never see in a video game is recreational facilities. Strippers sort of count, but I was actually referring to things like pool tables, swimming pools, weight rooms, that sort of thing. Your average Stormtrooper needs somewhere to blow off steam after a long day at the range not hitting the targets.

NOTE: I do not actually know if there are bathrooms listed on the technical blueprints for the Death Star. I would guess ‘yes.’ Someone let me know if I’m right or wrong.

I once drove a manager up the wall by constantly asking for a basketball court whenever he requested lists of new art assets. He finally asked why I kept asking for said basketball court and I replied ‘because the guys need something to do when they’re not fighting.’ Needless to say, the court was never made.

So what’s my point? Heck if I know. It’s probably something about how including real-life fixtures in video games help increase immersion and depth. Do you need bathrooms in games? No, but I think they can add value to a product.

Oh and can somebody tell me where the bathrooms are in Orgrimmar? My 70th Hunter hasn’t gone, well, ever.

Cheers,
-Jason

The Most Awesome Music Video Ever

Yet another one that comes to you via my workplace, this video is, frankly, the most awesome music video ever done. It has axes, pistols, zombies, lasers, and Mikhail Gorbachev. Who could ask for anything more?

It is a touch risqué, so it might not be work friendly.

http://www.vimeo.com/1223566

Cheers,
-Jason

Where the Bad Guys Go to Go

The other day, I was busy at work, assembling a bathroom as part of a level I’m working on.

NOTE: I’m currently a level designer. I construct levels for video games. I did not actually build a bathroom. Well, I did, but in the game. Not in real life. I have actually built bathrooms in real life. Really. Ergo: I can build bathrooms in a variety of realities.

My boss happened into the office and said “What’re you working on?”

“A bathroom,” I replied, not adding the ‘duh’ on the end.

He paused for a second. “Why?”

I turned to look at him. “So the bad guys have a place to poop.”

He considered that. “Cool.”

I then showed him the kitchen I’d built (again, in the game, though I have built kitchens in real life too). I did not bother to tell him that that was where the bad guys got the food that they then turned into poop.

This is actually something that bugs in video games and a lot of movies. There are never bathrooms. You see the occasional kitchen and plenty of barracks, but you rarely ever see a bathroom. Doom 3, for example, had plenty of closets for critters to attack you from, but only two bathrooms in the entire game. They both happened to be towards the beginning of the game, which leads me to believe that the poor guys at the far end of the complex either had to learn to hold it or were issued Depends as part of their standard uniform.

Later: Part 2 brought to you by the number 2.

My First Senior Moment

A ‘senior moment’ is what my mom calls it when she momentarily forgets something, such as my name, who I am, and why I’m in her house. We always have a good laugh about it afterwards, though I have taken to hiding her shotgun ammo whenever I happen to visit.

So, last Sunday, I was a the local supermarket, purchasing my weekly allotment of Captain Crunch, Coke, and other products beginning with ‘C.’ Yes, I have the eating habits of an 9-year-old, though I dare say my collection of plastic cereal toys is unrivaled (for example, I have all the Indiana Jones light-up spoons).

NOTE: I don’t actually use the Indiana Jones light up spoons to eat my cereal. I’m keeping them in mint condition for when they become collector’s items (seriously).

I finished shopping and went to stand in the line to the self-service check out, where I surreptitiously read the covers of fashion magazines. A scanner opened up and I quickly and efficiently scanned in my items and then attempted to pay. I swiped my debit card and punched in the number, only to have ‘Incorrect PIN’ shine back at me.

I entered it again, with the same result. I then realized, I could not, for the life of me, remember my PIN number.

Now, in general, I have an excellent memory. I can recall events with amazing clarity, down to what people were wearing and the conversations that were held. Though, like Cassandra, nobody ever believes me when I point out what actually happened or was said. Frankly, just because they don’t remember the clown, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.

So, there I am, standing there at the self-service check-out, staring at the PIN pad. I am painfully aware that there is a large line of people waiting for me to leave and probably wondering why I’m staring at the pad with a stupid expression. Just for the hell of it, I try again, with the same result.

I cannot remember my stupid PIN. I can remember the one I had previously. I can remember the one I had before that. I can even remember my brother’s, as I had to make a deposit for him once over fifteen-years ago. Yet I cannot remember the number I’ve used three to six times a week for the past three years.

Thinking quickly (for once), I then use my credit card, as it doesn’t require a PIN, gather my groceries and receipt and exit the store.

Of course, I can now recall my PIN and have had a good laugh over the incident with the blokes down at the pub.

I’m lying. I haven’t used my debit card since then and I am still not sure what my PIN is. I think I know, but am not sure. I suppose I could call my bank and ask, but I would feel foolish doing so (as opposed to telling all of you about it).

Anyway, I suppose I’ll have to use it again at some point. I’m sure I’ll just punch the numbers again without thinking about it. I’m pretty sure. I hope. I think one of the numbers was even . . .

Cheers,
-Jason

#18!

Wayfarer’s Moon had a bit of a milestone last week. We hit #18 on Buzz Comics, our highest ever ranking. This means that lots of people are voting for us, which we genuinely appreciate

However, we really want to be #1. So, as an incentive, if you happen to run into us and you mention that you vote for WM regularly, we may give you a genuine US nickel.

Yes, that’s right, a real, honest-to-god, nickel! They’re made out of some shiny metal and have stuff engraved on them! Worth nearly 5 cents, they can be exchanged for goods and services ANYWHERE in the US!

NOTE: Offer only good if one of us happens to have a nickel

Honestly, all kidding aside, we really do appreciate the votes. Both Leigh and I nearly wept (in a manly, bear-punching way) when we saw that we were #18.

So, please, keep on voting.

Tune in tomorrow for a new blog!

Cheers,
-Jason

A Couple Things . . .

It's Thursday again! Which means a video plucked fresh the perpetual torrent that gets passed around at work.

Today, I have two for you.

This one is about WoW and contains science (you've been warned), but is extremely funny. I could not find a way to embed this, so here's a link:

http://www.viddler.com/explore/rooreynolds/videos/26/

This one is really short, but is also quite funny.



Cheers,
-Jason

This Blog is Rated ‘S’ for Stupidity

I watch a fair number of movies and have noticed that the MPAA ratings seem to be getting weirdly specific. For example, a PG film used to say ‘Some material may be inappropriate for younger children.’ This was fine and dandy.

Now, however, they’re getting more and more specific about what’s actually in the film. The Spiderwick Chronicles, for example, was “Rated PG for scary creature action and violence, peril and some thematic elements.” Stardust was rated “PG-13 for fantasy violence and some risqué humor.” Saw III was rated R for “grisly violence, and gore, terror, language and drug content.”

NOTE: I have no idea why all the movies I listed began with ‘S.’ I blame my mother.

Obviously, the MPAA is trying to give parents a greater degree of information so they can make informed choices about what they’re kids are watching. However, if you can’t guess that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation contains “demented mayhem and torture, and strong language,” you probably aren’t paying attention.

However, being the concerned citizen that I am, I have decided to create some new, more informative rating descriptions for the MPAA.

“Rated PG for comedic violence to the groin with a baseball.”
“Rated PG-13 for language, including the ‘F’ word, the ‘S’ word, the ‘PH’ word, and several misused vowels.”
“Rated R for a really sweet scene where I guy gets machine-gunned by a Chihuahua.”
“Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, heavy petting, 1st through 3rd base, and a designated hitter.”
“Rated NC-17 for some seriously demented Sh*t. Seriously. We totally warned you.”
“Rated R for sexual misuse of Mexican food.”
“Rated G for cuteness. Teddy Bears are singing and dancing. Your five-year-old will love it. You will be bored out of your mind.”
“Rated PG-13 for stupidity. We warned you.”
“Rated R for something. We didn’t actually watch it, but the poster looked kinda violent. There’s a guy with a gun, so we figured an ‘R’ was a safe bet.”
“Rated NC-17 for being incomprehensible, weird, nonsensical, cacophonic, and in French.”

Cheers,
-Jason