Parking

A long time ago, I wrote a blog about people insisting on parking their huge trucks backwards in stalls. This trend, oddly enough, has become more common and I often see soccer moms, little old ladies, men in suits, and the homeless backing their vehicles into parking stalls (the homeless just tend to walk backwards into the stall while making ‘beep beep’ noises).

Honestly, I could care less. Park frontwards, backwards, sideways, upside down, I really don’t care. If it makes you happy, then by all means.

However, I would like to suggest that you practice a bit first. It’s kind of sad watching someone trying to back into a stall and completely missing, then pulling out and going back in. Out and in, in and out, over and over, faster and faster, until finally, they make it in and come to a halt with a shudder. And then they have a cigarette.

NOTE: Yeah, it’s been a while.

And now, the true story that inspired this blog:

Last Sunday, I was running errands and was trying to exit a small strip mall. The entrance to the parking area was a long, narrow, two-way road with parking stalls along one side. The street was narrow enough that anyone pulling in or out of a stall needed both lanes clear. I was parked at the far end, furthest into the mall, and having finished my business, got into my car and started out.

Now, a large black SUV had just entered the parking lot and the driver, a middle-aged man, decided to back into the only available stall in the middle of the strip. This stall happened to already have two, large black SUVs on either side, so it was a tight fit. The driver proceeded to spend an entire song (Great Northern’s Houses), about four minutes, attempting to get his gigantic vehicle into the tiny little space.

By the time he actually got it in, a line had formed on both sides with cars trying to get both in and out. A few people had begun beeping at him.

NOTE: This is Redmond, Washington. We have some of the most courteous drivers in the world. Things that would get you shot and/or stabbed by Amish people in carriages merely warrant a few polite beeps here.

So, with the SUV finally in the stall, traffic began to move again. Being the first car exiting, I passed by and glanced over at the driver.

And here’s the punch line: There was not enough actual room for him to open his door. I am not kidding. His parking gymnastics were for naught as he couldn’t actually exit his vehicle.

I laughed and said to myself: “There’s Wednesday’s blog.”

Once again: If you must back your car into the stall, please,please please, practice first. Any maybe, measure your car.

Cheers,
-Jason

Another Very Small Rant

For whatever reason, it has become vogue to back into parking stalls. I suspect it has something to do with street racing and the Fast and the Furious IV: Drive-Through Combo. In my apartment complex, half the cars in my row are regularly parked backwards. I find this rather silly, as the only reason to park backwards is if you need to drive away really fast. Doctors may need to park backwards. Fireman, sure. Batman, definitely.

Overall, I do not care. Park however you wish, as long as you do not inconvenience others.

Therein, however, lays the crux of my rant. I have noticed a lot of big trucks, those big, huge six-tired, super-jumbo-extended cab, 5-mile-to-the-gallon pickup trucks parking backwards. There are three of them in my work parking lot alone.

Now, I do not care what sort of vehicle people drive. These people may have perfectly good reasons for driving these colossal trucks, be it they have boats to haul, they are tall and need the legroom, or simply like them. However, if they are going to park these enormous vehicles backwards, they should at least be able to get them into the stall.

That is what irks me. These trucks barely fit into a standard stall anyway and if parked backwards inexpertly, they end up taking up two stalls. My work lot is crowded. There is just enough parking. If the lot is full, you end up walking a couple blocks. So, if you are going to park your gigantic truck backwards, make sure you actually get it into the stall, so other people can use the lot as well.

Cheers,
-Jason