“Guys,” said Throng. Neither Brian nor Rick responded, as they continued to bicker back and forth. “Guys!” he finally yelled.
Both men ceased and turned towards him.
“You want to wrap this up? Fuel isn’t cheap.”
Rick looked at Brian, who shrugged. “Rock, paper, scissors?”
“Why not?”
“One,” counted Rick. “Two, three!”
Both men chose rock.
“Again,” said Rick. “One, two, three!”
This time, Rick went for scissors, which defeated Brian’s paper.
“Hah!” Rick shouted. “We get to attack first!”
“Fine,” said Brian. “Guess I got winner.” His yellow tinged fleet withdrew, just out of range of weapons fire.
The Star Admiral threw back his cloak. “All hands to battle stations!” he commanded. “Prepare to fire the Obliteratrix!”
On the screen before him, he could see the Imperial fleet spreading out and a wave of fighters approaching rapidly.
“Launch fighters!” he ordered.
“Sir?” one of the lieutenants suddenly said.
“What?”
“Who’re the purple guys?”
The Star Admiral glanced up at the monitor. A new fleet had arrived, in numbers greater than all three of the present fleets combined. They literally filled the left hand side of the screen.
The view-screen flickered and a strange, insect-like head appeared. “PREPARE TO BE CONSUMED, MAMMALS.”
Throng appeared beside the insect on the view-screen, to be quickly joined by Brian. “Uhh, who’re you?” Throng asked.
“WE ARE THE HIVE. WE WILL EXPAND.”
“Do we know you?” Brian asked.
This gave the insect-alien pause. “I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.”
“Did we go to high school with you or are you related to the Imperial family in some way?” asked Rick, the Star Admiral.
“NEGATIVE. WE ARE THE HIVE. WE WILL-“
“Expand,” finished Brian. “Yeah, we got it.”
The all looked at each other.
“Y’know,” began Throng. “Is it me or are there just too many invasions going on?”
“Yeah,” agreed Rick. “I thought I was the only one looking to overthrow the Empire.”
Brian snorted and raised his right hand. “Guilty.”
“WE ARE-“
“We heard you! Jeez,” interrupted Throng. “Since we don’t know these guys, wanna rat-pack him and figure things out later?”
“Why the hell not,” said Brian. “It’ll be like high school.”
“Order the fleet to target the purple guys,” the Star Admiral ordered. “And fire the Obliteratrix already. I didn’t enslave 40 worlds to not use the damn thing!”
Cheers,
-Jason
Showing posts with label invasion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label invasion. Show all posts
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Invasion: Part 2
“I am Star Admiral Richard Karsis aboard the flagship Farkinator,” the Star Admiral said. “Identify yourself!”
“The Farkinator?” asked the voice, incredulously.
“Yes, what of it?” demanded the Star Admiral.
“Right.” The view-screen shifted and a new helmeted figure appeared, beside Fleet Admiral Throng. “Throng!” the new figure said, “I figured I’d end up fighting you!”
“How nice. Who are you?” Throng asked.
The figure removed his helmet, revealing a man with unruly black hair and a prominent uni-brow.
“Brian?” Both Throng and Karsis exclaimed, simultaneously.
“Hey guys! Long time, eh?”
“I haven’t seen you since high school!” Throng said. “What’ve you been up to?”
“Oh, y’know. Traveling the galaxy, unearthing the lost mystic talismans of Hylaria and deciding to invade the Empire and take over.”
“You can’t!” said the Star Admiral.
“Why not?” Brian asked. “I’ve got a massive fleet and several tons worth of lost magical artifacts. What’ve you got?”
“I’ve got a ginormous fleet and an Obliteratrix Cannon!”
“Really? Where’d you get that?”
“Guys,” Throng suddenly interrupted. “Is this a reunion or an invasion?”
“An invasion!” both men answered promptly.
“Great, who’s going first?”
“Me!” both men answered just as promptly.
The Star Admiral glared at his high school chum. “I was here first!”
“So? I spent 28-years collecting the mystic relics of a long-dead civilization!”
“I enslaved over 40 worlds to build my cannon!”
“I lost my left arm!” Brian held up an empty sleeve with his right hand.
“I got shot in the-“ Richard started to undue his belt, but suddenly thought better of the idea.
“Oh yeah? I’ll tell everyone why they used to call you ‘Stinky Ricky!’”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Try me!”
Throng sighed.
“The Farkinator?” asked the voice, incredulously.
“Yes, what of it?” demanded the Star Admiral.
“Right.” The view-screen shifted and a new helmeted figure appeared, beside Fleet Admiral Throng. “Throng!” the new figure said, “I figured I’d end up fighting you!”
“How nice. Who are you?” Throng asked.
The figure removed his helmet, revealing a man with unruly black hair and a prominent uni-brow.
“Brian?” Both Throng and Karsis exclaimed, simultaneously.
“Hey guys! Long time, eh?”
“I haven’t seen you since high school!” Throng said. “What’ve you been up to?”
“Oh, y’know. Traveling the galaxy, unearthing the lost mystic talismans of Hylaria and deciding to invade the Empire and take over.”
“You can’t!” said the Star Admiral.
“Why not?” Brian asked. “I’ve got a massive fleet and several tons worth of lost magical artifacts. What’ve you got?”
“I’ve got a ginormous fleet and an Obliteratrix Cannon!”
“Really? Where’d you get that?”
“Guys,” Throng suddenly interrupted. “Is this a reunion or an invasion?”
“An invasion!” both men answered promptly.
“Great, who’s going first?”
“Me!” both men answered just as promptly.
The Star Admiral glared at his high school chum. “I was here first!”
“So? I spent 28-years collecting the mystic relics of a long-dead civilization!”
“I enslaved over 40 worlds to build my cannon!”
“I lost my left arm!” Brian held up an empty sleeve with his right hand.
“I got shot in the-“ Richard started to undue his belt, but suddenly thought better of the idea.
“Oh yeah? I’ll tell everyone why they used to call you ‘Stinky Ricky!’”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Try me!”
Throng sighed.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Invasion: Part 1
Lord Richard Karsis, 2nd cousin twice-removed of the Emperor’s best-friend’s hair-dresser, stood on the bridge of his flagship, the Farkinator, watching the purples of hyperspace swirl past the main monitor.
“Well?” he demanded.
“We are preparing to drop out of hyperspace, Star Admiral,” said the young lieutenant at the helm.
“Excellent. And the Obliteratrix Cannon?”
“Fully charged and ready to fire, sir.”
“Order the fleet to deploy into battle formation once we enter normal space,” said the Star Admiral, as he walked to his command chair and sat down. An ensign with a gold bucket to the left of the chair immediately stepped forward.
“Entering normal space in . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1,” called out the lieutenant.
There was a sudden, sickening sensation, as if you’d just eaten a dozen cheeseburgers and a chocolate shake and they suddenly decided to come out both ends at the same time, and then the purple on the screen faded, to be replaced by a field of stars.
The ensign with the bucket leaned forward, as the Star Admiral went green. He held up a finger, swallowed hard, and then made a face.
“Thank you, ensign,” said the Star Admiral after a moment. “But I won’t need the bucket today.”
“Very good, sir.”
The Star Admiral burped. “Status report?” he called out, waving a gloved hand in front of his face.
“The fleet is forming up on us as we speak, sir. We should be fully deployed within ten minutes.”
“Admiral!” another lieutenant called out. “We have contacts bearing 7.8 Gorth by 212 Bung!”
“Where’s that?”
“Uhhh . . . “ the lieutenant point down and to the left. “That way, more or less.”
“Put it on-screen.”
It was the Emperor’s fleet, led by the flagship ‘Pokey Pony,’ which is what happens when you let your seven-year-old niece name your flagship.
“Communication from the Pokey Pony, sir.”
“Put it up.”
The screen flashed and the Star Admiral found himself looking at the scarred face of Fleet Admiral Throng.
“You have intruded into Imperial space! Remove yourself immediately from this system or face the might of the Imperial Fleet!”
“Bold words, Throng!” said the Star Admiral. “But I will allow you to surrender before I unleash my Obliteratrix upon you!”
Throng stared. “Ricky?”
“It’s Richard!” said the Star Admiral. “Star Admiral if you must!”
There was a sudden alarm and the bridge crew of the Farkinator whirled back to their stations.
“What?” yelled the Star Admiral, over the siren.
“Unknown contacts at 480 Gorth by 77.3 Bung!” the lieutenant shouted. He pointed up and to the right. “Over there!”
“Show me!”
Throng disappeared, to be replaced by a vector-graphic map. The Star Admiral saw his fleet in green, which outnumbered the Imperial fleet which was displayed in blue. A new force, depicted in yellow and as numerous as his own, was appearing to the right of both fleets.
“Sir, communication from the unknown fleet!”
“Play it!”
“Bow before the might of the Hylarian Armada!” a deep voice rang out across the bridge. “Surrender or death are your only options!” There was a pause. “Wait a minute,” said the voice. “If that’s the Imperial Fleet, who the hell are you guys?”
Tomorrow: Part 2
“Well?” he demanded.
“We are preparing to drop out of hyperspace, Star Admiral,” said the young lieutenant at the helm.
“Excellent. And the Obliteratrix Cannon?”
“Fully charged and ready to fire, sir.”
“Order the fleet to deploy into battle formation once we enter normal space,” said the Star Admiral, as he walked to his command chair and sat down. An ensign with a gold bucket to the left of the chair immediately stepped forward.
“Entering normal space in . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1,” called out the lieutenant.
There was a sudden, sickening sensation, as if you’d just eaten a dozen cheeseburgers and a chocolate shake and they suddenly decided to come out both ends at the same time, and then the purple on the screen faded, to be replaced by a field of stars.
The ensign with the bucket leaned forward, as the Star Admiral went green. He held up a finger, swallowed hard, and then made a face.
“Thank you, ensign,” said the Star Admiral after a moment. “But I won’t need the bucket today.”
“Very good, sir.”
The Star Admiral burped. “Status report?” he called out, waving a gloved hand in front of his face.
“The fleet is forming up on us as we speak, sir. We should be fully deployed within ten minutes.”
“Admiral!” another lieutenant called out. “We have contacts bearing 7.8 Gorth by 212 Bung!”
“Where’s that?”
“Uhhh . . . “ the lieutenant point down and to the left. “That way, more or less.”
“Put it on-screen.”
It was the Emperor’s fleet, led by the flagship ‘Pokey Pony,’ which is what happens when you let your seven-year-old niece name your flagship.
“Communication from the Pokey Pony, sir.”
“Put it up.”
The screen flashed and the Star Admiral found himself looking at the scarred face of Fleet Admiral Throng.
“You have intruded into Imperial space! Remove yourself immediately from this system or face the might of the Imperial Fleet!”
“Bold words, Throng!” said the Star Admiral. “But I will allow you to surrender before I unleash my Obliteratrix upon you!”
Throng stared. “Ricky?”
“It’s Richard!” said the Star Admiral. “Star Admiral if you must!”
There was a sudden alarm and the bridge crew of the Farkinator whirled back to their stations.
“What?” yelled the Star Admiral, over the siren.
“Unknown contacts at 480 Gorth by 77.3 Bung!” the lieutenant shouted. He pointed up and to the right. “Over there!”
“Show me!”
Throng disappeared, to be replaced by a vector-graphic map. The Star Admiral saw his fleet in green, which outnumbered the Imperial fleet which was displayed in blue. A new force, depicted in yellow and as numerous as his own, was appearing to the right of both fleets.
“Sir, communication from the unknown fleet!”
“Play it!”
“Bow before the might of the Hylarian Armada!” a deep voice rang out across the bridge. “Surrender or death are your only options!” There was a pause. “Wait a minute,” said the voice. “If that’s the Imperial Fleet, who the hell are you guys?”
Tomorrow: Part 2
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