It's roughly 9:45 chez-moi and I really want a pizza.
Just the thought of a warm crust topped with oodles of cheese, pepperoni, and pineapple makes me drool. In fact, I am drooling right now onto my shirt as I type this. Not a pretty picture, I know.
NOTE: Yes, I like pineapple on my pizza. Some of you may disagree. I'm fine with that, it's your choice.
I don't eat much pizza though, mainly due to my gall stones. It works like this:
1. I eat fatty foods (especially at night)
2. A gall stone tries to kill me
3. I am left wondering why my body hates me
It could be some sort of karmic retribution. Maybe in a past life I was some sort of gall bladder thief or something. I have no idea how that would work. I imagine I would accost travellers on deserted roads in the middle of the night and demand 'yer gall bladder or something of equally nasty!' and I would end up with a handful of poop, because gall bladders are kinda hard to take out.
I never said this would make sense.
Anyway, tomorrow is Friday, which means the day after is Saturday or 'day I play MMOs 'till my eyes bleed.' Everyone have a good weekend and look for a new Art and the usual blogs next week.
Cheers,
-Jason
Showing posts with label gall stone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gall stone. Show all posts
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Save vs Rock
Gall Stone (aka: Gut Demon)
Tiny Aberration
Hit Dice: 1hp or 28d6+4 (leader)
Initiative: +10
Speed: 1
Base Attack: +0/+0
Attack: unarmed +0 melee
Full Attack: nil
Special Attack: pain/nausea
Special Qualities: only attacks at night
Environment: your gall bladder
Alignment: chaotic vicious
Description:
The Gall Stone or Gut Demon is a tiny, possibly fanged and/or spiked rock that takes up residence in your gall bladder. It generally attacks only at night after eating a large Meat Lovers pizza and a liter of Coke. It has no known weaknesses and can only be defeated by either a Cure Intestinal Pain spell or simply waiting it out.
Combat:
The Gut Demon attacks your Gall Bladder, causing just enough pain to keep you awake. One in ten Gall Stones is a leader-type, who causes severe pain and nausea. Leader-type Gall Stones have been said to cause pain equivalent to childbirth, though this is doubtful, as you do not have to later change the Stones diaper or put it through college.
Gall Stones as Characters:
The Gall Stone has no application as a playable race unless the adventure is inside a gall bladder. If it is, you are weird.
So, if you have not guessed, I get gall stones. I had a minor occurrence the other night, which was not bad, it just kept me from sleeping. It occurred to me that it might be funny to write up the gall stone as a D and D type monster. Frankly, it was 5 am and seemed like a good idea at the time.
The only cure for gall stones is to have your gall bladder removed. I happen to like my gall bladder (I call it Little Green Jason) and have elected to keep it. For me, a sleepless night once or twice a year is preferable to surgery. I have insomnia anyway, so I am used to it.
I also have Toenail Fungus. Count yourself lucky I did not elect to blog about that.
Cheers,
-Jason
Tiny Aberration
Hit Dice: 1hp or 28d6+4 (leader)
Initiative: +10
Speed: 1
Base Attack: +0/+0
Attack: unarmed +0 melee
Full Attack: nil
Special Attack: pain/nausea
Special Qualities: only attacks at night
Environment: your gall bladder
Alignment: chaotic vicious
Description:
The Gall Stone or Gut Demon is a tiny, possibly fanged and/or spiked rock that takes up residence in your gall bladder. It generally attacks only at night after eating a large Meat Lovers pizza and a liter of Coke. It has no known weaknesses and can only be defeated by either a Cure Intestinal Pain spell or simply waiting it out.
Combat:
The Gut Demon attacks your Gall Bladder, causing just enough pain to keep you awake. One in ten Gall Stones is a leader-type, who causes severe pain and nausea. Leader-type Gall Stones have been said to cause pain equivalent to childbirth, though this is doubtful, as you do not have to later change the Stones diaper or put it through college.
Gall Stones as Characters:
The Gall Stone has no application as a playable race unless the adventure is inside a gall bladder. If it is, you are weird.
So, if you have not guessed, I get gall stones. I had a minor occurrence the other night, which was not bad, it just kept me from sleeping. It occurred to me that it might be funny to write up the gall stone as a D and D type monster. Frankly, it was 5 am and seemed like a good idea at the time.
The only cure for gall stones is to have your gall bladder removed. I happen to like my gall bladder (I call it Little Green Jason) and have elected to keep it. For me, a sleepless night once or twice a year is preferable to surgery. I have insomnia anyway, so I am used to it.
I also have Toenail Fungus. Count yourself lucky I did not elect to blog about that.
Cheers,
-Jason
Note: The image was copied from Wikipedia. The entire article is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gall_stones
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